I have become Marlon Brando

I swear, the day after my gum surgery I looked exactly like Marlon Brando in The Godfather. I actually had someone ask me if I had "something in there", referring to my extremely swollen lower jaw. The swelling has subsided almost completely now, but I am seriously bruised on both sides. It only looks like I took a couple of good punches to the jaw now.

So, the surgery was "interesting". I have never had my palate numbed before. That is a real experience. You have no idea how much the roof of your mouth is involved in virtually everything that goes on in there. It became difficult to swallow with a numbed palate and both sides of my tongue numb. That actually got a little scary a couple of times when I tried to swallow and it wasn't just a natural reflex. All of a sudden, I had to actually mentally talk myself through the steps to make it happen. You tend to instantly panic when you can't swallow. It was freaky. They gave me about 50,000 shots of novocaine to numb me up. That in itself is so much fun. Then they give you this list of movies from which you can choose to watch during the procedure in an attempt to distract you from all the activity taking place inside your mouth. Riiiiggghhhhtttt. I decided against any comedies. It would be hard to laugh while someone is cutting away on your gums. I opted for A River Runs Through It since I've never actually seen all of it. I still haven't. Half the time I just was too distracted by what was going on in my mouth to focus on the movie. The other half the time, my doctor's head was in front of the screen so I could hear but not see the movie. The rest of the time I just tried not to imagine what was going on in my mouth, with little success.

The procedure took 2 hours. She cut two incisions in my palate and removed tissue to be used for the grafts. That was sutured and then she started on the grafts. All I felt was a lot of tugging and stuff, you know how dental stuff is - you can't feel anything but you know what's going on sort of, the thought of which is almost as bad as if you could feel it. Anyway, they cut open the gums by teeth 19, 20 on one side, and 29, 30, 31 on the other, took biopsies, then inserted the grafts and stitched me up. I was to eat only cold, soft stuff for 24 hours, then I could graduate to warm, soft stuff for the next 14 days.

Eating is the worst part. I made Tom and Jonathan barbecued steaks that first night. Man, I wanted some so bad! Instead, I had ice cream. I never thought I'd get sick of ice cream, but I am now. The first day I had popsicles, iced tea, ice cream, pudding, and more popsicles. The next day I had cream of broccoli and cheese soup. Every time I ate anything with more substance, like I tried to gently chew with my front teeth some pizza, I popped some of the sutures in my palate. Fortunately, the roof of your mouth heals really quickly. I almost have zero stitches on the left side already. The right side has a few more still, but they'll be gone soon. It does still feel like I have one heck of a bad burn on the roof of my mouth. The lower gums are a different story. I can't chew anything with my molars. Anything that presses into my gums is excruciating. We went to this great buffet on Father's Day and I was so bummed! There was all this gorgeous fresh fruit - strawberries, pineapple, melon - I took a couple of pieces of pineapple and tried to eat them with my front teeth. No dice. I broke out some of the palate stitches. Srawberries were a no-no because of the seeds on them. I was told absolutely nothing with seeds. I sort of gingerly chewed bacon but mostly swallowed big chunks. I did do okay with the scrambled eggs, but the buffet was wasted on me, sadly. Last night I had a big, big bowl of macaroni and cheese. That's about the least painful thing I can eat. Oh, and over the weekend I got Tom some KFC and I had the mashed potatoes and gravy. That is easy to eat too. It's amazing how when you can't have something, that's all you want. I want barbecued meat! I want nuts! I want crunchy stuff! You'd think this would be a great time to lose weight, but most of what I can eat is carb-laden and fattening. I would kill for a green salad right now. As for the pain, I was given a prescription for 800mg Motrin tabs and Vicodin if I wanted it. I filled neither. I have generic ibuprofen at home, so I just took 4 of those every 6 hours. The first two days, if I went longer than 6 hours, I felt it. My jaw would start to throb and ache. Now I just take 800mg in the morning and then before bed and I'm fine. I go back on the 30th for the follow-up visit. I just want to be able to eat real food again!