Terri Schiavo

I am so upset about the latest ruling by the appellate courts. It seems to me that this time Terri will die and that makes me so sad and so angry. I just don't get it. Her husband claims she would not want to be kept alive in this state based on some comment she made back when she was a young woman. Okay, so maybe she did say that, but how many of us have made statements in our twenties only to find ourselves feeling exactly the opposite once we've matured? I know I have changed a lot since my 20's. The fact is, she didn't have a written document stating her wishes. In my opinion, if you have family members willing to care for the ill person, why is there even a question as to whether to sustain life or not? Let the family members who want to take on the burden do so! What does it hurt Michael Schiavo to let Terri live? I just find it hard to believe that he loves her so much that he has fought for her "right to die with dignity" for so long and yet he shacks up with and has children with another woman. It really does seem to be about money. Let it go, Michael! Let the Schindlers take care of Terri and spend their lives with her. After all, they have been her parents a LOT longer than you were married to her (pre-heart attack). Shouldn't they have some say? It just makes no sense to me. It's not like Terri is on a respirator and ventilator and lying in bed like a zombie. She can do everything but swallow. That doesn't seem like a state of being that is so awful as to warrant pulling the plug. Heck, who knows what she is aware of? Look at the woman who was in a persistent vegetative state for 20 years and then recently suddenly "woke up" and started talking!!! It can happen! Let Terri live!

As for living wills - I think we don't think through all the scenarios when we draw these things up. We say "oh, I don't want to be kept alive artificially if something happens to me". Okay.... But what constitutes "kept alive artificially"? I could understand if you were brain dead, or maybe unable to breathe, eat, etc. on your own, but what if you could breathe, move, make noises, respond to stimuli, but just couldn't swallow? Would that change your instructions about being kept alive artificially? Look at Stephen Hawking - the guy is pretty much unable to move, can't speak except through a computer that he controls with nearly invisible movements.... I don't know about whether he can eat on his own or not, but it sounds like he is in a state very similar to Terri's and yet he is one of the most brilliant men on earth. He went from being "normal" to his current condition thanks to ALS but I don't see anyone clamoring to take away his ventilator or stop feeding him. Anyway, back to living wills.... If you are in a coma, on life support or being fed through a feeding tube like Terri, what difference is it going to make to YOU, especially if you aren't aware of your surroundings, if a loved one doesn't want to pull the plug? Theoretically, you're oblivious. If it makes your spouse, children, siblings, or parents happy to be able to visit you, communicate with you, etc. Why should they be denied that opportunity just because you, in all your wisdom, wrote out a document that says "pull the plug"? I think you should write out a will that says "pull the plug unless my (family members of your choosing) don't want to". You never know - some miracle "cure" or breakthrough might occur during your time in a coma, or you could awaken magically one day. Why remove that option? I feel the same way about funeral wishes. People make comments or put in their wills that they don't want a funeral or they want this or that done after they die. Excuse me, but aren't you dead? What difference does it make whether or not you liked funerals and want one? If your loved ones want a funeral service to celebrate your life, they need to have one! My mom hated funerals and said she wanted to be cremated and sprinkled out over the ocean. When she died, he just had her cremated and the Neptune Society sprinkled her ashes over the Pacific. Okay, Mom got her wish, but the rest of us never got to say goodbye. We were young and didn't know any better, but as we got older, the lack of closure started to bother all of us and her brother. Several years ago we all chipped in and bought a headstone and had it put in the cemetery in Santa Maria so that someone 100 years from now traipsing through that cemetery will see that Lynda Filippi lived and was loved. It may seem silly to some of you, but for us, it helped give us closure. We wanted to have a service for her but have yet to get all of us together from across the country t do that. So.... My dad has in his will "no funeral"....Tough darts, Dad. We're having one. You'll be dead so it really won't matter to you, but it will matter a lot to us. That's sort of the same way I feel about the whole living will and dying with dignity issue. Let those who are alive, who love you and care about you, have at least the option of maintaining life support for you if they want to. If you're coherent enough to say "I don't want to live like this", well that's another story and a different matter. If you are brain dead or tests show no response whatsoever, then pull the plug, but if there's any doubt at all, let your loved ones make the final call.

That's my rant. You can disagree as you like. You can think I'm an idiot. But it won't change my position. We should stop being so darned selfish and let those who love us do what they need to do.